Everwood

Okay...I violated rule number one...the most sacred of rules when your fiance is gone. Granted, he's not gone, gone just living in the woods for 4 days. Anyway, I violated the rule. I watched Everwood which is a sappy show to say the least. What did it make me do? Cry...I'm such a wimp. I swear I never used to cry over missing someone. Then again, I bet that's a good sign. I hate being away from Patrick and I hate thinking of him out in the cold snow right now doing God knows what. I wonder if he's looking at the stars, if he can even see the stars and if he's thinking of me. Or if he's watching that snow fall and thinking about how much I love the snow. I'd give anything to be there with him, even in the cold, even in a sleeping bag on the ground, in the snowy winter.

It's funny how things change...and it's funny how they stay the same as well. In all of my uneventful ranting I think the bottom line is that I just miss him. I miss the smell of him...sometimes when he leaves I spend the next five minutes trying to find his smell on the pillows.

It's official...I'm pathetic.

Goodnight moon. Goodnight stars. Goodnight snow covered Patrick.